On Patience

I have written so many things that I just haven’t posted and now if I posted those essays they would all be crossed out. So rather than posting a bunch of crossed out words I’ll talk about right here right now. Long story short… moving back to CA after living in NYC for 8 years is hard. (note the present tense even after 4 months). And these 4 months have been such a roller coaster of highs and lows, laughs and tears, adventures and solitude. I wanted to immediately feel settled in this new city-- my doctors sorted out, friends to hang with on the reg, favorite spin and yoga class, whole foods schedule, etc. And when of course none of that happened, I panicked. My life cheerleader (my sister) even kind of lost it with me! She said, “you complained about NYC, you complain about SF, I don’t know what to tell you!” Then of course yoga pulled through. This wouldn’t be a yoga website blog without a yoga dharma talk to fix everything would it?!

Good things take time. It’s so simple but it was such an a-ha moment for me. It takes 4 years to graduate college. It often takes weeks and sometimes months to find the job. 32 and I’m still trying to find that big love. It takes 9 months to grow a baby inside of you before you get to meet them! It takes time to build intimate relationships and friendships. It takes 5 hours more or less to fly from coast to coast. I could go on and on but things take times and the really good things take extra time. I thought back to leaving Santa Monica in 2009 and trying to navigate life in NYC as a 23 year old. Now that was hard and I will never forget the 6 month mark where I had a full on breakdown and battle with my puffy coat in the subway. So who am I to think that I can just land in SF, snap my fingers, and have it all figured out? So I’ve been focusing on something I LACK— patience. And surprise surprise… it works. The tears have lessened. The ache for my NYC reality has subsided. And the big, beautiful, bright San Francisco sky has filled those holes. I am by no means settled. I am still navigating this new life. But what a wonderful reminder that time and patience can cure so many hard times and feelings.